Michael Bay diarrhea
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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