im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
and she was petting her beer can
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Don't EVER smell your tampon
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
