Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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