just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
