you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
