I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
