I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
