so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
