Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
