Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
