So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
this will be a night to untag.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize