Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Randomize
