He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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