hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
