Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Randomize