is your mom at the bar?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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