she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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