are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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