A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
