Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My vagina is very pro this idea
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