***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
