I didn't shave. On purpose
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so let's talk penis.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
