Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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