apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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