you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
