She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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