If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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