oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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