as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
