y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
third nipple confirmed
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
