You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize