I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
