You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
