barbara walters just said penis...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Green mimosas i think yes
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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