i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
be right there i have to get my cape
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize