So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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