I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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