Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize