Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
