I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
