I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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