Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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