WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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