You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
