: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
