I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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