NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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