Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
