I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize