Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
