Jerry, you need to find god
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
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