Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
