Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
