you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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