Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
