K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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