What a fucking waste of an outfit
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
