Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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