I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
