we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
