I think my vagina is haunted
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
