I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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