Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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