"it" just moved
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
