since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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