You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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