dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
