k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
