This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize