lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
